sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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