I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
