I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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