is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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