***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
