doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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