i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
