Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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