what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
