he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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