i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
