She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
