Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
