i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
