OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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