But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
