put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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