I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
