and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
North Korea, Best Korea!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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