I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize