I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
