My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
