I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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