Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
