you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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