Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
