i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
