I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
