Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
