I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
