Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
