oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
