Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
