Kareoke will never be a sober sport
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just got carded by a ten year old.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
