even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
