I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
3pm strippers are depressing
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
