oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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