was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
