I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
