i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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