she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
