i just wanna soil my oats bro
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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