guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
