I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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