More tranny stories later!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
