Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
