You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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