her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
