There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
