Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you never un-have a 4some
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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