I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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